Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Ghosts From The Past

All my life I've had to deal with ghosts from the past that try to get in the way of my life. I quiet their murmurings with positive thoughts and sayings I read from Facebook posts from gosh-oh-so-positive people. Mostly, since I am about as happy-go-lucky as that prize-winning pig in a pit of mud who just found out he was going to be used for breeding purposes instead of ending up on some farmer's breakfast plate, I just ignore the ghosts. Sometimes though, these ghosts make too big of a racket in my head, I just can't ignore them. There are times, I just have to confront these pesky things and show them that they are, SO NOT THE BOSS OF ME. Then again, sometimes, I find I just have to shut up and listen to what they're saying because maybe, just maybe, they have something important to say. If I am lucky, the ghosts from my past are there to impart some sort of wisdom or insight to a part of my life that is troubling me presently. 

Now, if you're not sure of what it is I am talking about, "ghosts from the past" are not like your average Casper the Friendly Ghost; nor, are they those paranormal ghosts who supposedly haunt homes and abandoned buildings on spooky reality t.v. shows. You certainly can't call Ghostbusters to exterminate them. I should know, I've tried. NO! *cue the dramatic music* Ghosts from the past refers to something or someone or an event that has happened to you in the past that has left a negative impact in your life. (At least, that is what I am referring to here.) This negative experience has left us weak, jaded, hurt, angry, and bitter. Sure, we find the strength to move on with our lives, but sometimes, it resurfaces. These ghosts haunt us again, and finds a vulnerable spot in our minds. We're left fearful, afraid that the past will happen again, and we will be back in that awful blackness...

As I have said, I'm not one to let these little buggers interfere with my life. I do believe, most of the time anyways, that the past just ought to be left there. Why dwell on the past, when there's so much going on in the present? Well, here is a different perspective. Everyone is familiar with the Charles Dickens story, "A Christmas Carol", right? Ebenezer Scrooge gets visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve because he was being a real douchebag and these ghosts decide to visit; one from the past, one from the present, and one from yet to come (future). The  ghosts forces Mr. Grumpy Grumps to take a close look at his life. How the past has had a hand in how he is the way he is in the present and how his present actions will then affect his future. Of course, since this is a Christmas story, Mr. Grumpy Grumps is taught a very important lesson in humility and ethics and compassion. I think these of these ghosts as more of his subconscious. They're that little voice of humanity that screams, "Hey, quit the douchebaggery or else you're going to end up unhappy and alone and these people will suffer and whatnot." We should all be lucky if our ghosts could teach us those lessons.

I know for a lot of people, these ghosts of the past only carry pain and regret. As for me, it carries a lot of childhood memories I would rather forget. But even then, somewhere deep in that muckery of unfortunate events, I find a little tiny ghostly voice that says, "Hey, this was happening to you and you're still alive. Be strong, it will be over soon." My ghosts tell me that I have come a long way. I can look at the real terrifying ghosts square in the face and say, "Hah! I've beat you. You have no say in my life anymore. You're a ghost so you're dead. I am still alive.